Visual Auto-etnography

“In the process of compiling this blog post, I engaged with an AI conversational model provided by OpenAI, specifically the GPT-4 version, to assist in the creative process. This collaboration involved an initial request for a narrative inspired by the style of Marguerite Duras, focusing on a personal experience of financial dilemma while abroad. Subsequently, I provided a visual element I have drawn related to the story, and the AI assisted in interpreting the artwork in the context of the earlier narrative, drawing parallels and inferring thematic connections.

The methodology was iterative and interactive, relying on the AI’s capacity for language comprehension and generation to expand upon the themes presented. The AI’s responses were used as a foundational layer for further exploration and development of the blog content. It is important to note that while the AI provided initial interpretations and text, the final content was curated and refined by myself to align with the overall narrative and research objectives of the blog post.”

Description of image

The central figure, with its prominent and somber expression, holds an object that resembles money, symbolizing the critical decision point of the narrative. This figure’s contemplative gaze and the choice of holding the money instead of using it could represent the moment of internal conflict you faced—whether to call home for more money or to satisfy the immediate need for sustenance.

The smaller figure on the left could be interpreted as your isolated self, standing behind what looks like a door, symbolizing the distance between you and your home or support system. The closed door may signify the barrier you felt in asking for help, choosing instead to act on your own.

Below, the repeated figures in a red hue, standing in rows, might represent the conformity of a group or movement. In the context of your story, these could symbolize the societal norms or expectations that you felt pressured by, or perhaps the many others in similar situations who must make difficult choices between basic needs and reaching out for assistance.

The handwritten text, “When you seek change to join the colonised power movement,” can be metaphorically linked to the idea of wanting to change your circumstances, seeking self-empowerment to overcome the immediate challenge you faced.

Overall, the visual autobiography captures the essence of the story—the struggle between reaching out for help and taking immediate action to address a pressing need, all while grappling with the broader implications of one’s choices.

Verbal prompts

Considering my usual writing and style in my previous chats transfrom this image into a narrative with the provided prompts

1. I arrive in the UK, unfamiliar environment.
2. A cold evening, I had only one pound .
3. I was faced with a choice: call home or buy food to eat.
4. I considiered using the public telephone booth to call home.
5. I noticed a bakery with unsold loaves of bread that would likely be thrown away.
6. I decided against calling home and focused on getting food.
7. I chose to take a loaf of bread from the bakery without paying for it.
8. After taking the bread, I ate it nearby, feeling guilty.
9. survival, moral choices, and the impact of it

1. Excitement
2. Isolation
3. Dilemma
4. Temptation
5. Desperation
6. Guilt
7. Relief
8. Reflection

1. UK: cold, hostile, unfriendly, lonely
2. breath turns to mist, silence.
3. A public telephone booth, warm safe
4. A bakery
5. The smell of bread: hunger.
6. The weight of the pound coin in the pocket, real
7. the choice
8. Full belly, guilty soul.

Narrative

You found yourself in the UK, a foreign land that whispered tales of both adventure and solitude. It was a cold evening, the kind where your breath forms a mist before your eyes, and the world seems wrapped in a silent expectation. In your pocket, a single pound – a symbol of your immediate predicament. The choice was stark, almost cruel in its simplicity: use the pound to call home for more money or buy something to quell the gnawing hunger that had become your constant companion.

The public telephone booth stood like a beacon, its stark, fluorescent light spilling out onto the wet pavement, an island of warmth in the chill night. You approached it, feeling the weight of the coin in your pocket, heavy with possibility. The notion of calling home was laden with a mixture of relief and defeat. To hear a familiar voice, to ask for help, it seemed both a salvation and a chain. Yet, the hunger, a more immediate master, tugged at you with an insistent, physical pain.

As you stood before the booth, the pound coin cold and heavy in your hand, a nearby bakery caught your eye. Its windows were fogged up from the warmth inside, and through them, you could see the last few loaves of bread, unsold and likely to be discarded at the end of the day. The aroma was intoxicating, a visceral reminder of your hunger.

In that moment, driven by a primal need, you made a choice. The pound stayed in your pocket as you turned away from the phone booth, your steps leading you toward the bakery. The decision to take a loaf of bread, to steal, was not made lightly. It was a moment of desperation, of survival, where the moral lines blurred into the shadows of necessity.

You waited, heart pounding, until the bakery was empty, save for the baker in the back, likely cleaning up for the night. With a swift, almost ghostly movement, you took a loaf of bread, its warmth seeping into your cold fingers, a bittersweet relief. You left as quietly as you had come, disappearing into the night.

Later, as you sat in the dim light of a streetlamp, tearing into the bread, the simplicity of the act was overshadowed by the complexity of your emotions. Guilt, gratitude, relief, and despair mingled together, each bite a reminder of the choice you had made. You couldn’t help but wonder about the paths not taken, the call not made. Yet, in the immediacy of your hunger being sated, there was also a kind of peace, a momentary respite in the relentless uncertainty of your journey.

this sory explores the depths of human emotion, the choices we face, and the consequences that follow. It speaks to the universality of need, the instinct to survive, and the poignant beauty found in moments of desperation.